Virginity: Private or Secret?

Considering the impact of the sexual revolution in the 60s and the impact of condoms being handed out in public school classrooms in the 90s, there wouldn’t seem to be much necessity to discuss virginity. Happily, there is, since it’s making a comeback as a virtue and as a protection against unwanted pregnancies, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, low self-esteem brought on by meaningless intimacies, and an ultimately empty feeling.

And you thought sex was the ultimate in intimacy. Huh?

Here is the important point. What do you tell? How many? What positions? This is where people get into trouble. Clarifying where you’ve been in your thinking and being is a way of getting “close.” Giving details is what you do when you’re selling your story to some disgusting tabloid newspaper sold in grocery stores.

Women, do you really have to tell your husband the truth about how many sexual partners you had before you met? Should you now tell your boyfriend that you’re not a virgin or still a virgin?

Men, do you really have to know? Are numbers really important to you?

Okay, here’s the answer. He needs to know everything from “your younger years” up to “present.” That is what will tell him about you. That’s what he really needs to know: that you were lost and suffering and used sexuality to try to be found and achieve peace. You’ve grown from that into the wonderful woman you are. If you are now a woman of God, all the way better! This is what’s valuable about your story for him. This is what should not be a secret. The number of guys is private – keep it that way. It doesn’t add to the story, it takes away from it.