Hug Me!

The energies have declared today 'Hug Holiday Day,' which means it's time to wrap your head around this concept and then wrap your arms around someone else. In fact, 'Hug Holiday Day' encourages us to give hugs to anyone we think might need a few squeezes of love. It's said that on this day, volunteers freely give their hugs at senior citizen centers, hospitals and other public places where hugs would be welcome.

Research from psychiatrists and other medical professionals agrees that a close relationship exists between the health of the body and that of the mind. This research supports the speculation that your thought patterns, moods and even your behavior have a tremendous and direct result on the state of your well-being. Some of this research even cites certain things that any empowered person can do to vastly improve their health, as well as bringing a big boost of happiness into their lives.

Besides cleaning clutter, organizing the household and getting a hobby to take your mind to a different and happier place, the next advice on this happy list is to laugh often and hug freely! Laughing and hugging have been proven to exponentially improve the health of both body and mind, as well as to provide an immediate lifting of spirits! Rounding out this list are healthy eating and doing something charitable to pay it forward for all the blessings you have in your own life.

Starting today, if you do any or all of these things, then you should stand up and give yourself a big hug! I'll be sending a virtual one as well! Big squeeze to you from me!

Getting Un-Petty

“When someone hurts you, it is not always you that is the cause. Sometimes we look on the external too much, but today God has taught me that I need my focus not on the offense but on the ‘crying heart’ of the offender. They have their own brokenness that they see in you which makes a door for them to be unkind to you. Thank You Lord for this, what a very important and beautiful lesson.” -- Ara G.

I just had to click that “Like” button on facebook. I agree with Ara.

Many of the ideas in this blog have outlined the means by which people have gotten a grip on their pettiness.

So how does one become un-petty? Here are some ideas.

Pray more often. Prayer is not only calming, it is humbling and reminds you of your obligations to others. Since much of pettiness is ultimately anchored in a self-centered view of the world, spirituality helps you broaden your awareness and perspective. Pettiness is “self-focused” and is an opposite focus of spirituality. God’s laws are about compassion, understanding, obligations, consequences, patience, meaningfulness, and holiness. These concepts are bigger than any one of us and require giving of oneself in humility. So many people find this approach enlightening, exhilarating, and transcendent. It helps you with the bigger picture.

If it’s that important to you – you do it! I have told many people that instead of nitpicking others to death about how something must be done, do it yourself. Take responsibility over those things that you cannot seem to be flexible on. Perhaps if you then find yourself so overburdened, you’ll realize that doing it yourself is not the best or only way to go about things. Consider that it isn’t a choice between just “your way” or the “wrong way”; it’s “your way” and somebody’s else’s “your way,” which is just a different way; take the “wrong” part out. Whew, did I just confuse you there?

Teamwork is part of the blessing of a relationship. It is a far, far better thing you do to find ways to solve problems and grapple with issues as a team, rather than alone. It’s this teamwork that solidifies relationships; the mutual dependency will make you close. People too often forget that mutual dependency breeds a familiarity of affection that cannot easily be broken by gray hairs or an interloper. I've lost some friends because those "others" wouldn't want me to be a part of their team.

Risk not being perfect. Perfectionists care about how they look. Have fun being silly. Loosen up! Being a knucklehead helps most of the time when you need those giggles.

Communicate. We all heard about this. Communication is the most important element in relationship. Communication avoids assumptions and misunderstandings. Ultimately, it is better to know the truth of where you stand and how others experience you (as painful as those truths sometimes are) because it gives you the power to grow and it gives them the knowledge they need to love you more.

Stifle yourself. Sometimes it’s wise just to shut up. This is probably one of the more difficult anti-pettiness techniques – I know it is for me. When your stress level is high and you have so much to do, it’s tough not to lash out at anything that appears to add to your strain. Learn to use that moment to solicit support, not strike out in frustration. Mr. and Ms. Quiet comes in handy when you're not in the mood to click "Like" on your friend's facebook wall.

Basically, the cure for pettiness is working harder to treat your loved one or friends as though you love them. This one is self-explanatory.

Special thanks to Mike Olaya for the graphics. It has nothing to do with the topic, I was just being un-petty.

All Is Well

One day before my birthday in 2007, I wrote this poem. I stumbled upon it today and it made me smile. There's this giddiness in my heart that transcends through the eternity of it's deepest abyss. I read it over and over. And while reading, my brain was on multi-task mode, thinking of what I have gone through in such a span of time. Let me now share this poem to you...

ALL IS WELL - Kristin Shimizu

April 30, 2007

My present seems unstable, the future I can’t tell.
The pressures of life toss me to and fro, as if I’m going through hell.
But down, deep in my spirit, I hear a voice saying, "all is well."
Heartaches, despair, and dismay are on the Increase;
War is constant, there seems to be no peace.

Love, joy, happiness, and my finance are on the decrease.
My life seems so short as if it will soon seize.
But down, deep in my spirit I hear a voice saying, “all is well.”
I was on the verge of backsliding, from grace I fell.
Life seems so confusing, I couldn’t add nor spell.

It is said after a storm there is calm.
But in my situation after my storm, tornados,
earthquakes and hurricanes, batter me from side to side.
All of life’s pain, I almost lost my mind,
I was sure I was going insane.

I felt tormented as if I was under a spell.
But I kept hearing the voice saying, “all is well.”

I stop; I pause, eject, rewind, fast forward and play.
But it was if I was dumbstruck, I didn’t know what to say.
I felt absent from GOD, not reading my bible,
No fasting, much less to pray.

I cut and paste, edit, enter then delete.
No money, no supermarket, nothing to eat.
But I kept hearing the voice saying, “all is well.”
My situation seems ever worse; it was dark like midnight.
I felt sad and fearful, I was overwhelmed with fright.
The enemy thought I was defeated; No victory for me in sight.

Then suddenly, I heard a sound!
The abundance of rain.
I felt an outpour of the oil of joy, for all my mourning and pain.
My visions became a reality; my nightmares were out of sight.
My steps were ordered again, the outcome was right.

Yesterday all seems lost, but my tomorrow looks bright.
All this was possible because of The Light.

He is the voice that beckons to you and me, “all is well.”

“All that I brought you through, was for Information to be gained,
and a message to tell.
Go, say to the world, that without Me your all is not well.
I Am The First and The Last, Beginning and The End.
Well done my good and faithful servant
Your all is well.”

Everybody is Free to Wear Sunscreen

One of the tough realities a growing child has to face as he/she matures is that they are not the center of the universe. It’s easy for a small child to feel that he or she is the center of the universe when every gurgle and scribble is oohed and ahhed about by parents and relatives. The first time that their kindergarten teacher tells them they can’t take that crayon away from Mary, or that Johnny gets to go first, or that their drawing needs work, children recognize that life is a cooperative effort.

Some don’t give up being the center of the universe easily, and getting attention and becoming the focus of others takes on many forms – some healthy, some not. It’s all a matter of degree and balance. Some become entertaining, or even entertainers. Some become “needed,” some become utterly dependent, some become perpetually ill, and so forth.

All in all, the “I must be in the spotlight” mentality generally brings darkness to the family.

It is important to watch that ego! The ego-trap is an easy one for people to fall into. Being good at something makes one feel important – that too often leads to a sense of entitlement – that moves right into a sense of superiority – and that collapses relationships.

So, is everybody free to wear sunscreen?

You bet!

Yana, thanks for showing this video to me. Now I think it is too late for me to use sunscreen. Besides, I'm allergic to it. Poor me.

Problems

All God's children have problems. Big problems or many problems certainly cut into our sense of feeling happy. Even then, sharing burdens with your partner, friends, family, rather than taking out our unhappiness on them, is, of itself, a kind of happiness. Perhaps the perspective we most need in times of strife is to realize that even this seeming major catastrophe is “a small bump on the road to eternity.”

Neither you nor your relationship is or will be perfect. That should not stop you from doing the caring, thoughtful, brave, and compassionate things you need to, to bring pleasure into the lives of your family. And that should not stop you from enjoying the value of what you are privileged and blessed to have – if you would only see it that way.

If you’re not happy, try behaving as though you were – see how that lightens life up for you, your partner, your friends and your family, and how that feeds back, lighting up the world.

Many thanks to Mike Olaya for the graphic art.

Out of Weakness

Many of you have gotten into, and stayed in, relationships that you knew from day one were wrong. A feeling within you told you that this man or woman, though he or she had some good qualities, was someone you’d be better off without.

Why did you stay? Simple. You wanted to be happy. And this situation and person were available. You hoped it would work out, because if it did, you’d be happy. And, in between, the ugly parts, you think you are happy.

I have found it astonishing how hard people will work with the wrong person in order to be happy – when they are so willing to throw out the right person when times are difficult. Why does the former individual struggle when he or she shouldn’t, and the latter person not work at it when they should?

The answer, I think, is a paradox. In both cases, you say you want intimacy and happiness. But, in both cases you are avoiding real intimacy. In the first scenario, trying to make a round peg fit into a square opening ultimately doesn’t work. Trying to make a bad choice work doesn’t work. No happiness results, of course, but there is no real threat to one’s ego either. In other words, the reason you’re not “close” is the other person. You are now absolved and alleviated from the responsibility of personal responsibility and growth. Struggling to make things work with someone not psychologically available for intimacy is a noble struggle, giving you superiority and an external excuse for your problems.

In the second scenario, dumping the good partner for “happiness,” instead of working as hard as in the former situation, is yet another way of preserving ego: You are not happy because of your partner. If you stayed and worked harder, you’d have to face the fact that you are contributing to your own unhappiness and problems, with either/or behavior/attitude. That’s too uncomfortable, so bye-bye.

In neither situation do you have to change. That you are ultimately unhappy is your sacrifice to preserve your rickety sense of self.

Out of loneliness, one will settle for over a year until someone opens that person’s eyes. A friend will tell you how it was not so bad to be without a partner. So a break-up happens. And, as a good preacher once said, “Don’t try to look for the right one, BE the right one.” And that is what we all ought to do now.

That’s right! The match we make for ourselves is a reflection of ourselves. In other words, the more you complain about your partner, the more you telegraph your own weaknesses. For example, when you’re not happy because the other is “controlling” – it’s because you were willing to give up happiness to hide your weaknesses.

Abusing yourself, disrespecting yourself, allowing others to abuse and disrespect you, not living by deeper values, may make for some fun moments, even some satisfying moments, but you will not be happy in any more profound, long lasting sense.