Dear Diary,
It’s been six months since we left Eden. I wish we could put this all behind us. Adam still blames me for the whole mess. I know I shouldn’t have listened to the Serpent. But Adam was right there with me. Why didn’t he do something? And it’s not like he didn’t eat the fruit, too.
At the time, I honestly didn’t think it was a such a big deal. Now, I have this overwhelming sense of guilt – how could I have done this to God after all he had done for us? Will we ever be able to have the same kind of relationship we used to have? Whenever I try to talk to Him, I feel like there is this great big wall between us.
One thing I hadn’t counted on was how totally unnatural it would be to obey God once I ate that fruit. For example…until that day, whenever I got hungry, I would eat; when I was full, I stopped. Now I have this constant craving for food – once I start eating, I can’t stop, even when I knew I should.
That’s not the only area where I get out of control; my tongue gets me in so much trouble, especially on days like yesterday – it was that time of the month, and I wasn’t feeling well. I found myself snapping at Adam about every little thing. I hate it when I act this way. I don’t like being moody and uptight. But sometimes I feel like I just can’t help myself.
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