I'm always amused by this expression, "I have to find myself." First, there is the notion of being somewhere other than where you are (some kind of cosmic lost-and-found), then there is the idea that you can't find yourself under the present circumstances of marriage and children, and finally there is the epiphany that you can't simply find yourself in the bed of someone new.
Truly, you find yourself in your commitments; you find yourself in the eyes of people who depend on you; you find yourself in your noble responses to life's challenges; you find yourself in your actions and decisions; you find yourself right where you are now.
This notion of "finding oneself" is an intellectually dishonest approach to frustration, a pouty reaction to obligations and routine, and a bratty manipulation of another's compassion and understanding.
Why does finding oneself as an individual seem to imply that you must unload significant people from your life like your spouse, boy/girl friend, and/or parents? The answer is that the most immature part of yourself has reverted back to infanthood -- wanting to be the center of the universe without obligations: You get to have, you don't have to give.
With that attitude, you will either end up alone, or with superficial escapades, and regrets for a stupid breakup.
Don't lie to yourself or anyone else. When you feel like it's time to get going, stay put and face whatever it is that worries or frightens you.
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