Whether or not you like it or think it should be so, our appearance, including hygiene, posture, dress, weight, and fitness, matters in our relationships. It is all a sign of respect for ourselves and our obligation to the relationship.
Certainly, it is difficult to keep up with aging and gravity. Certainly, it is difficult to exercise and eat only the stuff you “oughtta.” Trust me, I know! I’ve been keeping up with my own version of losing weight with my combo “diet-exercise-technology” but I know it is still difficult to carve time out of my busy life to do body maintenance. Certainly, one needs a mature outlook in balancing the physical with the spiritual and relational. And certainly, one should never feel loved or not based on a bit of flab. A decent partner learns to graciously and lovingly accept the realities of aging in their spouse without comparing.
It is our individual responsibility not to take our relationship or partner for granted with lazy excuses.
Many wives out there could have husbands who refuse to participate in marital relations because of “weight.” I can almost hear these wives saying to their husbands “that size shouldn’t matter and that dieting isn’t easy,” that if it were easy, weight loss wouldn’t be the big business it is.
I believe it is fair for him to say that he needs to see “some attempt…to lose weight,” because it demonstrates on her part a respect for his point of view and the physical side of their relationship. It is flabber(pun intended)gasting how many people demand that their spouses be totally turned on to them and pleased no matter how much they abuse their bodies.
I guess this is everyone’s excuse – “If he loves me, what difference does the weight make, especially since I am so totally wonderful otherwise.”
It’s not that the appreciation for all that you are is lost, it is that as you lose interest in pleasing your partner with your best self, so will your partner.
I used to be 128 lbs. but now I’m 109 lbs. and will still lose weight until my goal (107 lbs.) is reached. If I can do it, ya’ll can do it too!
